


Logan Accidently Steals Two (2) Children

by Panmixia



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abduction, Accidental kidnapping, Alternate Universe - Creatures & Monsters, Alternate Universe - Laboratory, Alternate Universe - Scientists, Animal Instincts, Animal Traits, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Dark Side, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Little Shit, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Sweetheart, BAMF Deceit | Janus Sanders, Calling people 'It', Caring Logic | Logan Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders Acts Like a Snake, Deceit | Janus Sanders is Anxiety | Virgil Sanders' Parent, Deceit | Janus Sanders is Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders' Parent, Dehumanization, Eventual Romance, First Meetings, Fun, Gay Disaster Logic | Logan Sanders, Gay Logic | Logan Sanders, Good Parent Deceit | Janus Sanders, Janus wants his fucking kids back, Kid Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Kid Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Kidnapping, Laboratories, Light-Hearted, Logan is a gay scientist, Logan is so smart yet so stupid, Logic | Logan Sanders is Anxiety | Virgil Sanders' Parent, Logic | Logan Sanders is a Sweetheart, Logic | Logan Sanders-centric, M/M, Monsters, Morally Neutral Deceit | Janus Sanders, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Naga Deceit | Janus Sanders, No Angst, Non-Malicious dehumanisation, Nonverbal Communication, Not Canon Compliant, Octopus Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Parent Deceit | Janus Sanders, Platonic Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Platonic Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Protective Deceit | Janus Sanders, Remus is a toddler, Science Experiments, Single Parent Deceit | Janus Sanders, Spider Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, Trapped, Virgil is a baby, no beta we die like enbies, shameless self indulgence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:42:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28682001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Panmixia/pseuds/Panmixia
Summary: Logan Sanders is so excited to study this exciting new creature that's been discovered! The spider-like creature is very interesting, and oddly adorable.A few weeks later, a similar situation arises when an octopus like creature is discovered.But surely they couldn't know each other. They aren't sentient. They're not related, and they definitely don't have an overprotective (and oddly attractive) snake parent looking for them. Nope, definitely not.(or, how Logan became part of a monster family)
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 201
Kudos: 301





	1. Itsy Bitsy

Logan was quite excited to get to work, he'd received a very exciting opportunity, and had been emailing his superiors all night about the discovery. 

What discovery? A new species. One that couldn't be categorised on site, and could even be its _own genus_ with how unique it was. And it was being sent to his lab. He had to physically fight the urge to disregard the speed limit, allowing himself to smile whilst alone. Just think of all the research he could achieve! 

The most important part was learning and observing as much as he could about the creature. It's reported as non-sapient and so is being held in a secure enclosure, kept in the darkness had the creature going to sleep, so Logan at least knew the creature wasn't nocturnal. As far as anyone knew, this was the only creature of its kind--data would need to be collected on the best diet, suitable enrichment, enclosure temperature and humidity, along with all its biometric data to ensure they can keep it healthy. 

Driving past the barriers, Logan parked his car in his usual spot, and he gathered his things - briefcase, jacket, smartphone, keys - before making his way inside. He stopped at the receptionist's desk, smiling politely, if a little wider than usual due to his excitement. 

"Hello, Dot. I was told you'd have some paperwork for me?" 

Dot chuckled with a nod, standing up to go and search a filing cabinet. The woman was meticulous in her organisation, which Logan appreciated - regardless, the two got on very well. 

"Ah, yes, Professor Sanders. The only person that gets excited over paperwork. Here it is, dear" she slid him a dark blue file, and a form on top to confirm he'd collected said file. Logan swiftly filled it out, sliding it back over. 

"Thank you, Dot. I would love to chat, but I've got something very important to do, so-" 

Dot simply waved him off with a smile, and Logan was grateful. He wasn't the best at navigating social situations, and was unsure if excusing himself was going to cause upset. 

Regardless, he made his way to his work station, knowing the new specimen was already there, taking the time standing in the elevator to skim over the paperwork given to him. It contained notes on everything they knew about the creature, which was pretty minimal. It was arachnid at first glance, although it's appearance was more akin to the mythical Drider, with at least part of it lacking an exoskeleton and instead having body hair. It was black with a purplish shine - Logan would presume it lived in some form of cave system because of, assuming the colouring was to appear as a coruscating gem to either hide or hunt.

Logan tucked the file under his arm, taking a breath to steel himself as he entered. His lab assistant, Remington Alvas (a student from the local University on work placement), was half asleep in his usual chair, jacket thrown over himself, earphones in, glasses still on with phone in his hand. It was a regrettably common site. Logan cleared his throat, then spoke slightly louder than usual. 

"Goodmorning, Remington" 

The student jerked awake, almost launching his phone across the room, and Logan allowed himself a small smile at the bemused expression. 

" _Logan_! Shit bag, you're going to frighten me to death one of these days." 

He was quick to put his personal belongings away in a metal locker, removing his blazer and replacing it with a crisp white lab coat, fresh from the steriliser. He was rather fond of the sassy student, who didn't seem to take offence or mock his more than lacking social skills and encouraged the otherwise stoic professor to engage in some healthy, engaging 'banter' 

"It is highly improbable to 'scare someone to death', even if they had considerable cardiovascular conditions before hand; which, to my knowledge, you do not" as though scared Remy was hiding a secret fatal disease, he sent a stressed side-eye to the student who smiled easily and shook his head. Logan relaxed slightly "So if you were to keel over from cardiac arrest, I would be inclined to point the metaphorical finger of blame onto the copious amounts of coffee you consume on a regular basis" 

The chit chat comfortably went back and forth, Remy dramatically pretending to be offended while he worked on setting up the station and dressed himself in the ppe, and Logan went about collecting empty forms he would need to complete. 

He washed and dried his hands, grabbed his file work, a clip board, and a voice recorder machine and prepared to meet the specimen.

"Professor Logan Sanders, October Nineteenth, time is currently eight thirty-two AM. I am joined by lab assistant and final year University student Remington Alvas who has the necessary training to sterilise, set up station, feed, and handle the specimen - while under my guidance. Initial investigation and observation of new specimen of uncertain famalia. The specimen was captured by field scientist unintentionally, being caught in a pitfall trap intended for a different species entirely. The specimen was enclosed in a secure, clear container and was transported to this facility and has been unattended but on a video feed for a little over seven hours. I shall take height and weight measurements from the specimen first,"

The enclosure was around a meter and a half tall, slightly elevated so it was within Logan's eyeline. He hadn't gathered a clear look at the creature, as the enclosure had been left dark, and it'd already made a surprising mass of webbing. Remy had prepared and sanitised containers to put the creature in whilst being weighed, and was standing close by to assist with any restraining should the creature try to make an escape. 

Wearing protective gloves - in case the hairs on the creatures' body were irritants, or it was inclined to bite him - Logan unlocked the cage with an excited anticipation. Using both hands, he slowly scooped the creature up. It appeared like a tarantula, although it was the size of a standard rabbit. He applied a firm yet gentle pressure onto the creatures carapace to prevent it from wriggling out his hands, although it seemed remarkably tame and barely even reacted besides looking up at Logan in what seemed to be curiosity. Dozens of eyes filled the creatures face, some so small they looked like freckles and Logan had to bite down the urge to coo. 

Blinking, and pointedly not looking at Remy's questioning glance, he began speaking for the audio recording as he placed the creature in the container as gently as possible. 

"The creature is rather subdued, whether that is its true temperament or a result of me handling whilst it was resting under its light cycle is undetermined. Regardless it allowed itself to be carried in a standard hold, and is content to be seated in the weighing container"

Indeed, as soon as Logan sealed the top of the container, the curious spider creature immediately set to work creating webbing in its area. Either it had a high prey drive, or preferred to be confined; or perhaps both. He made a note of this, speaking as he did so. 

It took awhile for the creature to settle long enough for him to get an accurate reading, which allowed him time to simply observe. Remy was being oddly quiet, watching with folded arms and a schooled expression. He seemed rather uncomfortable with an arachnid present. Logan, on the other hand, found the creature rather endearing. Its Spinnereta glands were in working at least, with how effortlessly it could create the web. He'd use this container to gather a sample of the webbing - it's protein content should help reveal some information on its diet and lifestyle. 

"The specimen is weighted at six-hundred and-forty-three-point-zero-eight grams. We will now measure the specimen." 

Yet again, Logan took great care in removing the creature from the container, and yet again it was perfectly docile asides from a small chittering that lacked the characteristics of a typical threat display, and therefore Logan interpreted as harmless. This next part may prove a little trickier and required Logan to be a little more tactile with it. Well, Remy had to be tactile, he would be the one pinning it. 

"Remy, if you could. Hold down the carapace and sternum, it should instinctively spread its legs out so the measurement will be accurate. Be careful on the sternum, it has what appear to be eyes littered around it - they may be mimicry to ward off predators, but we aren't going to take that chance and will assume they're functioning organs connected to optical nerves"

Remy nodded, mouth in a grim line of disgust as he did as he was told

"it's just freaky looking, spiders shouldn't be this big"

Logan hummed noncommittally as he lined the measuring tape. 

"I agree, our understanding of how arachnids work would state that an invertebrate could not reach this size. It may not even be an arachnid, as its upper section seems to be more mammalian. It may even fall into a _Genus_ all of its own - and isn't that extremely exciting? "

Remy pouted, shrugging

" yeah, I guess, it's just a bit weird. I guess it'll grow on me, tho"

Logan chuckled at that as he measured, its over all height, over all width, and measured diagonally from the tarsus of its longest front leg, and longest back leg. After measuring its torso, he declared it done, and instructed Remy to place it back into its enclosure while he recorded the measurements.

"The specimen has a Chelicerae and Pedipalps which suggests it partakes in self grooming. I will spray non-chlorinated water in the enclosure to hopefully encourage it to groom, so we may observe the process. Cameras will be recording and will be provided along side documents and this audio recording."

Spray bottle at the ready, Logan aimed and sprayed a fine mist within the enclosure. The creatures didn't react at first, until the mist settled atop it, and the creature hissed furiously, lurching to life and running half up the enclosure. Logan felt a strange burst of guilt as he shut the door, preventing it from escaping. After a few moments it seemed to settle, using its Pedipalps to groom compulsively at its face, seemingly irritated on an emotional level; if non sentient creatures had the mental capacity to be upset, that is. 

Sighing with a slight air of sadness as the creature chittered and clicked, retreating back into the almost opaque web tunnel it had created. Logan sighed yet again. 

"The specimen appears over stimulated, not reacting well to being misted. We will stimulate a night cycle by tinting the observation glass on the inside looking out - we will still be able to see clearly looking on- and turning the internal heat lamp off. It responded well enough last time, and hopefully by the afternoon it'll be a well enough temperament to be handled again and we can try to determine a diet. In the mean time, the observational camera will continue filming, but this recording will be paused - "

Logan clicked off the voice recorder, humming as he dimmed the glass and deactivated the heat lamp for the little spider. He looked at Remy, who was eyeing his own mobile phone longingly, obviously hopeful for a break. Logan shook his head, laughing slightly at the ensuing whine. 

"Afraid not, Remington. We've got plenty work to be doing while the creature rests" 

Remy groaned. 


	2. Din-Dins, Vergie!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan tries to figure out what the little creature likes to eat, all while desperately trying to resist the urge to cuddle it.

Logan's attention was pulled away from his paperwork by a gentle tapping noise coming from the enclosure. Glancing up he saw the arachnid type creature awake from its mid morning nap, tapping upon the glass with its pedipalps and once Logan had looked up it began chittering loudly, stepping side to side and tapping its two front legs together as though clapping. Logan couldn't help but smile at the display - he knew nothing about the behaviour of this animal, for all he knew it could be threatening to kill him, but from a human perspective it seemed so happy and he couldn't ignore the warmth that gave him.

Logan made his way over slowly but deliberately as to not appear predatory. The creature gave no indication it was threatened, no hissing or preparing to lunge or even going to hide in the expanse of webbing it had created. He'd sent the sample webs off to be tested. For now Logan was going to presume its current body language was relaxed, unless any further information contradicted that. 

"Hello, little one," he couldn't even feel ridiculous for addressing a creature he'd known for a few hours with such adoration. Luckily Remy wasn't here to watch (and undoubtedly mock) his soft side "Did you enjoy your sleep? Apologies for the spraying, I'll avoid that in the future. Would you like your light and heat on? Here" 

Logan flipped the heat lamp on, smiling wider as the creature chittered some more before scurrying to the top of its enclosure in a truly impressive speed. It was so very interesting. He watched the creature circling the lamp, every so often leaning up to nuzzle into the plastic cover before chittering, then repeating the motions - Logan couldn't decipher the meaning behind that particular motion. Whatever the creature was trying to do ceased as Remy burst through the door, lugging in the crate of foods - items that could be parts of the creature's diet. Though his assistant had done exactly as he asked, he couldn't help but sigh as the creature hissed furiously, curling up in a little ball. 

"Try being a little quieter, Remington. Or knocking. What if I'd had the creature out? And your noise startled the both of us, then suddenly the creature is loose?" 

Remy raised an unimpressed brow behind his shades, plopping the crate unceremoniously onto the counter. 

" Girl, how many times I gotta say it, REMY. Got it? R-E-M-Y. Second, this crate is heavy as shit, I had to put it down quick "

Logan sighed, all though he was smiling, and slowly stood. 

"Regardless, you've spooked it. It's in a death curl - not the best way to begin this, ideally it would've been in the best possible mood before we began to feed it. Who knows if it'll even eat now its stressed" 

Remy at least had the decency to look scolded, looking down sheepishly as he continued unpacking the various food stuffs. Logan simply tutted, and went to begin recording information yet again. 

"Professor Logan Sanders, October Nineteenth. Time is two-sixteen pm. We are beginning a diet test with various food sources. From physical observations, the creature seems most likely to be an insectivore, frugavore, or a scavenger. Or even a mixture of the three. We're going to begin with various live prey, in hopes of capturing the hunt. The creature is currently in a death curl, as it is easy to startle. Hopefully it shall abandon the defensive position once prey is in the vicinity."

Remy fished a calcium-covered cricket with a pair of tweezers as Logan opened the enclosure door. Logan reached backwards for the tweezers, not taking his eyes off the creature in case it tried to escape. It remained in a ball. 

" First, I'm going to offer it a Silent Brown Cricket, live, and coated in calcium powder for extra nutrients," 

Carefully, Logan leaned in with the tweezers, offering the squirming insect to the creature. It twitched slightly, acknowledging that it noticed, but remained curled up. A few seconds, just as he was prepared to pull back, the creature uncurling, chittering slightly as it moved forward. Both scientists waited for a pounce, or some sequence of attack, but it simply strolled over and raised its two pedipalps and grabbed the insect, almost like a hug, tugging slightly until Logan let go. It held the squirming prey close, rocking back and forth slightly as it chittered, then dipping its head low to lean in. A gooey crunch was heard, with a slight pause as the creature suckled on the brain matter and let the rest of the cricket drop to the floor as it walked off, apparently content with simply draining the haemolymph. Curious. 

"I guess it doesn't really need to hunt if you're just holding it out, huh? It takes the easier route in life, I can respect that" 

Remy punctuated his statement with a sip of coffee, smiling behind the straw at Logan's exasperated glance. Honestly. 

"Very amusing. Pass me the next food." 

* * *

They continued for the better part of an hour, testing different insects. It never attempted to consume the carcasses, and sometimes it didn't even feed - simply killing the prey before turning to Logan expectantly. Others it didn't even touch, and attempting to feed it an earth worm garnered a particularly aggressive reaction of hisses and the reveal of previously unseen barbs across all its limbs as it lunged for Logan's hand, spitting an inky substance as it went. 

("Remy, bring me a slide. It just secreted on me and I'd like to analyse it." 

The assistant moved to comply, sarcastically grumbling "Yeah, of course _you_ would" as he went. Logan elected to ignore it) 

They'd then moved onto fruits, and Logan was surprised that it seemed to enjoy them. It accepted a few nibbles of both apple and pear, but didn't seem to overly enjoy. It'd most likely eat them in the wild, but not seek them out. It enjoyed bananas a great deal, crooning and chittering, staring longingly at where the tub of mushed banana had been left even as Logan moved onto other foods. Citrus fruits garnered a similar response to the worms, but what it really seemed to enjoy was berries. Every single berry was met enthusiastically. 

"Awww, he likes _Loganberries_ ain't that cute" 

Logan turned his attention from the chittering creature, blushing slightly as he was yet again caught staring at the creature in unguarded wonder. 

"Ahh, yes, well I'm just surprised it's still up to eating. It must've eaten its whole body weight by now." 

Remy simply shrugged, sat a good distance away. He was still unable to shake off his unease around the creature, and had actually volunteered himself to do paperwork, if only to stay clear away from it.

"It's probably gonna nap for ages after eating a shit-tonne, it's what most spiders do. Hell, I do that…" 

Logan sighed slightly, but supposed Remy did have a point. Only two things left to try, a sunflower seed and a small piece of pure cheese. Normally dairy was a risky thing to give to an animal without knowing its diet, but the webbing produced had a high count of lactose, lactic acid, and lipid - suggesting it was getting some form of dairy in its life quite frequently. 

He began with the block of cheese, placing it in front of the creature before shutting the glass door of the enclosure and watching. 

It definitely seemed interested, crawling closer to inspect the block. It placed a few limbs on it, before climbing up onto it and chittering in the way Logan had hypothesised to be positive. Logan smiled. The creature continued examining the block for a few moments - cheese wasn't naturally occurring, so it may take a while for it to realise it's the same as the milk it was most likely consuming in its habitat. However, it didn't attempt to eat the cheese at all. It picked the block up, much like it did with the insects, and walked off with it. Logan blinked in confusion, looking into the side of the enclosure as it disappeared into a burrow with the block. 

Then it began meticulously webbing up the cheese, careful and elegant weaving of stands was mesmerising, even if Logan couldn't deduce what it was trying to achieve. Did it need to eat it with the webbing? Maybe the webbing counteracted a chemical in the dairy it found harmful. Or maybe it provides extra nutrients, but it hadn't attempted to web anything else. 

After a good fifteen minutes, the creature seemed to be done, climbing the short distance to the ceiling of the web-made burrow, angled over the block. Logan paid particular attention - perhaps it was going to practice pouncing in incapacitated prey? 

Nope, this magnificent creature would continue to prove him wrong. It simply trilled, then promptly spewed the same oily substance it tried to attack Logan with, all over the food, before doing the same display of assumed happiness that it did before. 

_How fascinating._

It seemed Remy could predict the creatures actions, however, as it completely ignored all attempts to be fed the sunflower seed, and nestled itself firmly in webbing before falling asleep, carapace rattling slightly with silent snores. 

Why on earth was it so cute? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayy! Some gentle fluff. Plot isn't going to do much for a while,, so it's cute filler for now!
> 
> Though can anyone figure out what he's doing with the cheese? Or why he won't eat worms? 🤔😉


	3. A Not-So-Nice Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know when I said this is all fluff? Well I saved up my pocket money to purchase one angst chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (tw medical horror, being pinned/restrained, babies in severe distress, trauma, scalpel/blades, crying, technically child abuse (though they don't know he's a sentient baby rn))

It took a week for the creature to stir again, which granted wasn't abnormal for an animal to do after an extremely large meal, but Logan still spent the whole week fluttering around the lab, periodically making sure the heat lamp was warm enough and that the water dish was definitely close enough for it to reach if need be. All the paperwork had been completed at this stage, all the samples they'd garnered analysed. There was nothing to do but wait for the creature to wake up, 

_If it'll wake up_ a concerned part of him whispered, but he shook it off. Sat at the laboratory desk quietly eating a store-bought sandwich, Logan wholly expected another day of no activity, and was planning work for himself just to get through the day without going sick from worry. Even though he was rather distracted, he still noticed Remy - who was sat _on_ the desk and drinking a truly abhorrent cup of coffee that surely had enough coffee to kill him, but alas - freeze for a moment, before pointing at the enclosure

"Your thing is awake" 

Logan's head snapped to the enclosure, lunch thoroughly forgotten as he saw little legs twitching and stirring. His face was pressed to the glass like a child at the aquarium as he watched it awaken, stretching each leg out individually and vibrating in such a way that its carapace rattled slightly before it let out a happy chirp - was that its equivalent of cracking one's back in the morning? Curious. 

The creature noticed him, turning its many eyes to look up at Logan, blinking slightly out of sync. Logan backed up, suddenly very aware that not only was his behaviour very unprofessional, but could very easily have appeared predatory and scared the little thing to death. He knelt to be less imposing, and couldn't keep the smile off his face as the creature chittered, chirped, and danced back and forth in greeting. It was so cute, and he'd definitely missed it in the last week. 

"Hello, welcome back. I take it you enjoyed your meal, huh?" 

Behind him, Remy scoffed lightly as he began setting up a trolley, 

"why's it always so cute for you, then when _I'm_ left alone with it, it'll either hiss or just stares me down with its bagillion eyes" 

Logan simply shrugged, gently lifting the creature yet again into his arms. And yet again it didn't seem to mind being carried, simply looking around at the new perspective as it was gently placed atop the work bench. It trilled, almost as if asking a question, and despite it being an animal Logan felt the urge to soothe him and answer the question, 

"No need to worry, we're not going to hurt you. We'll be performing some non-invasive tests and then as a reward you can…" 

Logan glanced around, honestly it wasn't like it needed an incentive or reward considering it had been nothing but compliant, but still - aha, his abandoned lunch was still out, and he saw the fruit he brought from home. 

"You can have some banana, yeah? You really enjoyed it last week, so you can have some banana for being a good…" Hmm. They needed to determine its sex soon enough "... For being good." 

Remy sat across from him on the bench, with that stupid teasing smile that he wore everytime Logan fell that bit more endeared with the creature. Logan scoffed silently and straightened up. 

"Have you considered an appropriate classification for it yet?" 

Logan blinked. A genuine, work related question from Remy. Strange. 

"I haven't, but we can rule out arachnid despite its appearance. It qualifies for an _insect_ strangely enough, though it seems under the carapace plates it has flesh similar to a mammal - plus few presence of lactose could indicate mamalia if it's getting fed that instead of searching for it"

Remy leaned forward, chin on his hands as he stared at Logan behind dark shades. 

"It could belong to the _Dasypodidae_ family, or maybe _Pholidota_ . We'll need to test to see which ancestor gave it the extra limbs and eyes though, try and trace if there's any relatives on the tree. We also need to determine a sex, and the hormone processes. If it's a female we'll have to track mating habits and ovulation, if it's staying here long term and we find no males of the species we may have to spay it to stop hormone - related tumours from forming - a life span needs to be determined, we have no idea how old this thing is, if your theory about it still feeding is correct we could have nabbed an _infant_ "

Logan swallowed thickly. He had an idea where this was going, 

" As much as you love playing with your new spider pet, girl, we can't keep performing observation after observation, giving it the day off every time it gets upset, and staving off testing. I _know_ you don't wanna hurt it or kill its trust in you, but if we keep providing no information they'll just move it to a different team. You get me, babes?"

Sometimes Logan forgot how intelligent Remy was, how much more perceptive the sassy student could be. He was right, obviously, and Logan had known this but it still stung to have it all be lay out on the table. He took a steadying breath and nodded miserably, looking at the creature that was simply exploring the surface it had been placed on. No attempt to run off or attack - it was just as curious as Logan was. 

The creature suddenly turned and looked at Logan and his no doubt saddened expression and scuttled forward, low whistles escaping it as it placed a pedipalp gently on his forearm and let out a long sound that almost sounded like someone trying to enunciate an 'L' 

The proud scientist smiled slightly, and gave it a very gentle head pat - which it seemed to enjoy. He whispered a gentle "thank you" before turning his attention to the apprentice, 

"You're right, Remy. Of course you are. I've been putting off invasive testing for my own comfort, but that needs to stop. Contact labs to get some slots open, and bring the kit. We'll… Get as much as possible done in one go." 

Remy nodded, looking a little sobered up. Thankfully he most likely knew how much Logan was struggling and was withholding his usual jabs. 

* * *

Testing on a creature you'd grown so fond of was more emotionally draining than one could imagine. They'd tried to be as gentle as possible, giving it small breaks and little snacks of banana in between - but it had stopped accepting after the first two times, perhaps realising that a treat didn't mean _finished._

They'd taken fibres from both the carapace and legs - it had squealed on every pluck, and Logan's comforts were not effective when he was clearly the cause of it. After they'd used a harmless dye (fluorescein) to drop into one of its eyes. Remy had to pin the poor thing down while the CT scan mapped out the inner workings of the creature's incredible eyes. 

Though Logan couldn't be too excited, the screeching sounded like a baby's wail, and guilt chewed at his stomach even after they'd finished. Once he let it go, it had scurried off, compulsively rubbing at its face with its pedipalps, still releasing the cry-like noise that hurt Logan deeply. He tried to give it some banana, but it felt like poor penance. Logically he knew the creature wasn't in pain - perhaps a little sting at the initial drop, but no more. He still felt horrible knowing he'd stressed it out so much. 

"Alright, we need a venom sample this… It's not gonna enjoy this"

Remy clicked his tongue, searching for a vial from the trolley 

"It hasn't liked any of this, babes. All you can do is try to keep it comfortable, yeah?" 

The scientist sighed, but nodded, taking the vial and re-sanitising his gloves. The vial was sterile, and had a fake skin cork. He needed to get the creature to try and bite it, penetrating the cork and dripping its venom into the vial for testing and analysis. As he psyched himself up, Remy wordlessly moved to pin the creature again, who began its heartbroken screeching as it seemingly sensed another invasive process. 

Before he could chicken out, Logan moved forward and carefully gripped the creatures head, careful of the eyes, and managed to pierce the fake skin with the fang, wincing as the noise increased. Small drops of black dribbled out tediously slow, and Logan was forced to rub at the surrounding glands to speed the process up. For once it was trying to resist being held, wailing in distress and trying to escape Remy's clinical hold. 

"Shh, shh you're ok. You're ok, shh. Look, darling, we're done now. All Done. All done, there we go." 

Remy put the sample away, lipping the word 'darling' at Logan, who promptly ignored him. The student returned with a scalpel and slide, smiling sheepishly, 

" This is the last thing. Promise, babes, then you can play with the little cretin as much as you want" 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Virgil wailed, Virgil screamed, but the humans didn't stop. He needed papa, it was so scary - he thought the man with the blue tie was nice, he gave Virgil nice food and smiled warm when Virgil happy wiggled. The man reminded him of papa, sometimes, but papa would never do this. He was being held down which was scary enough, but then someone was grabbing his back leg and he hissed on instinct as he tried to pull it back but that didn't work. 

The blue man was speaking in low tones, trying to soothe Virgil but he didn't understand why - Virgil could tell the man controlled what happened to Virgil, so if he was as sorry as he looked why wasn't he doing anything about it? 

Virgil let out a 'tssssssttssss' at the man, the same thing he cries at papa when he's very upset. A stinging-scratch on his leg makes the volume increase, distressed warbles becoming distorted as his tempest tongue activated. The two men looked uncomfortable, but Virgil was too young to have powers strong enough. At best they probably felt a little tummy-sick and ringing ears, but nothing more. He let up the barbs on his legs, but they hardly seemed bothered. 

Papa wasn't coming, was he? He never waits this long when Virgil is crying. Infact, he seems to appear before Virgil even realises he _wants_ to cry, and cuddles the owies away. 

Even his brother, as icky and gross as he could be, wouldn't let him cry like this. 

The scritching continued, and he could feel flakes of hardened exoskeleton flaking off. Virgil wailed some more, it's all the baby could do. The sound of his own skin popping off was going to haunt him, he's certain. 

Eventually the painful scratches stop, and the human with weird eyes backed off as he was picked up. He liked being held - just sitting in the box was boring, and the lack of contact caused his anxieties to mound - but the man didn't spend any time giving him head pats of just holding him close like he sometimes did. He was instead very quickly dropped back into his boring box. He very quickly scuttled into his webbing, scared he'd get nabbed again, and croaked sadly. No cuddles, no papa, no Re-Re.

He climbed up to his little sleeping tunnel, stepping over the lil block, he meticulously began wrapping himself, just like how he caught prey, and allowed the lines to be tight around him. 

It wasn't a hug, but it was something. 

* * *

Logan gently wiped his wet eyes, struggling to maintain a professional demeanour. He'd deposited the creature back into its enclosure, assuming it could soothe itself and would want away from them for now. 

Something in its cries, it set off the paternal instincts within him. The level of distress was similar to his son's when he had broken his elbow last summer. Logan had had nightmares for the next few weeks after the incident, and he could honestly see them returning. 

He would try and determine an intelligence for this creature, after it has rested sufficiently. The wails seemed to have too much… distress and fear, to be a basic pain cry. 

He glanced at Remy, who also looked rather upset. He glanced down at the sample they'd gathered, frowning. 

"So, uh, that kinda made me feel like shit." the student confessed

Logan nodded, "I fear I'm going to be guilty about that for quite some time." 

Remy looked him up and down, nodding numbly and probably deciding Logan was right. 

"I'm, uh, gonna take these samples… We can plan for tomorrow, okay? Get some enrichment, play with it." 

Remy left with the sample cart, and Logan hugged himself, head dipped slightly. 

He was determined - the creature was going to be the happiest little thing _ever_ , tomorrow. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [if anyone is concerned,, Virgil wasn't really hurt by the scalpel. It was just scratching to get flakes for analysis, but it was a mixture of feeling really weird and 'I'm a literal baby and this stranger is scratching a blade against my skin' kinda fear, y'know? If they did it while he slept, he probably wouldn't have noticed.


	4. A Scritch and a Scratch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remy warms up to the weird critter, and Logan has heart eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me? Posting at a reasonable time instead of three in the morning? Preposterous.

Remy groaned softly, looking up from his phone as the creature tapped on the glass yet again, chirping and wriggling around. It'd been doing that for the past two hours, and it wasn't helping his hangover. 

"Girl, I _told_ you. Logan isn't here, you tap tap tapping ain't gonna do _shit"_

Though he was most likely imagining it, the creature seemed to understand the sentiment, shuddering in that creepy way that made its carapace shake, and whined slightly. Could it understand him? Was it actually upset that Logan wasn't here? 

_Great, doing a Logan and projecting on it. If I start cooing at it I'm quitting._

He shook his head slightly, frowning when he saw it prying at its own carapace with its fangs, whirring and whining. He tapped at the glass in an attempt to make it stop - he had no idea if that was normal behaviour, they'd never seen it do that, and he didn't want to get in trouble for allowing the thing to mutilate itself by the time Logan got back. 

The tap of glass did stop the creature, but surprisingly it seemed thrilled by it, hopping back on to its back two legs to do a little arm-wave-boogie and chittering the same it did at the banana. Remy paused, and repeated the action. 

It chittered and tapped right back on the glass, before scurrying back and dancing. Remy tilted his head, and tried to picture what the creature was seeing. 

"I guess my hand does kinda look like another creature thingy? Is that what it is, huh?" 

As expected, the critter didn't respond other than bobbing up and down in anticipation - much like a dog waiting for the ball to be thrown. Remy chuckled slightly, before tapping the glass, and the reaction was much the same. A loud trill before the action was mimicked. 

The little game continued for quite a while, the critter growing more lethargic as they played, though seemed determined to continue. Not wanting to exhaust it first thing in the morning, Remy eventually stopped, feeling a little bad as it continued tapping away in hopes of a response. 

"Lil thing, please, just chill until Logan gets here, kay?" 

After a few more taps I stretched again before wandering off to do… Who knows what, in the little catacombs of webbing it had created. Just as Remy had finished assembling the most fire playlist, the door swung open to reveal a harried looking Logan, hair untidy and button up slightly ruffled. The creature squeaked and dropped into a curl as Remy put his hands on his hips, revelling in the position swap. 

"Wow, girl, look. You've gone and scared it with your unprofessional entrance." 

Logan winced slightly at the playful jab, sending a saddened look to the sentient ball inside the enclosure as he approached the work bench to deposit his jacket and briefcase. 

" I apologise greatly, Remy, leaving you unattended for three hours is grossly negligent on my half, and I'll be entirely understanding if you'd like to make a complaint against my unprofessionalism."

Remy frowned slightly, reading his nervous posture - did he really expect Remy to get him in trouble? 

" Fuck that noise, I ain't getting you in trouble, but what happened? You aren't usually late - like, ever. "

Logan sighed, and shifted around slightly before answering "You're right, I do not make a habit of being late but - well, last night Roman couldn't sleep, so I tried to read him a story, and well… we ended up fast asleep, curled up on his bed and I didn't hear my alarm, and so I was late dropping him off to school, and, "

"I get it, babes, waking up late fucks all your plans up. And anyway, you've got a perfect record for the, what, twenty two years you've been working here? It's fine" 

"Thank you, Remy. You're very kind. This won't happen again." 

Remy shrugged, nonchalant, pulling out files from the cabinet. 

"It's whatever. You see to your spider baby" 

Logan nodded, making his way over, and Remy felt the need to add "It's been asking for you all morning" 

The reaction was worth it, the scientist perking up greatly with a dumbass, excited smile on his face as he rushed off to tend to his little creature. 

* * *

Logan crouched at the enclosure, humming happily as the creature ran up to give a greeting, wagging around. Logan smiled as he unlocked the enclosure, gently scooping the critter up while mummering gently. He didn't want the creature to think they were going to perform more distressing examinations today. The opposite, in fact. Today was the day they try to engage it with enrichment to see what it likes! Enrichment varies from animal to animal, and usually reflects what that animal does in the wild. Seeing what it likes to play with will hopefully give insight to activities it engages with in its natural habit - _yep, that's the only reason. I'm definitely not just doing this because I feel ridiculously guilty about yesterday._

"Oh, Lo, it was prying at its carapace and whining earlier. I made it stop cause I didn't know if that was normal."

Logan glanced at Remy, who gave him a shrug. While the student was still doing paperwork, he didn't sit as far away as usual and wasn't as stiff in his posture. Logan vaguely wondered what had happened while he was gone, but shook the thought off and leaned down to inspect the little critter. 

"Yes, I can see some damage around the Cephalothorax and there's blood underneath from the pulling…" his attention went to the creature, placing it down on the table and gliding a gentle finger over its body "What's the matter, little one? Why are you hurting yourself, hmm?" 

The creature obviously didn't respond, staring at Logan silently before shifting, moving to bite at that hardened carapace, clicking. Logan used a simple wooden depressor - or a 'lolly stick' as Remy called them - to intercept the creature from biting itself, tutting slightly as it hissed. 

"Please don't, little creature. That seems to hurt. Let me look," 

Logan gently traced his finger over the area, looking for signs of infection or even possible parasites festering underneath and causing bother. However, as soon as he did so, the critter scurried back. At first he thought it was uncomfortable - trying to avoid an inspection - and sadly resigned himself to pinning the poor thing down for the second day in a row. To his surprise, however, the creature merely chittered and wiggled, coming back towards him and standing on its back legs to expose the area he was trying to look at. Did it enjoy it? 

Testing his theory, Logan gave it a little firmer of a scratch, and it downright _trilled_ in delight. Logan felt a smile at his cheeks, scritching and scratching as the creature cheered him on with adorable little chitters and chirps. 

Even Remy had come over to inspect what was happening, clearly trying to restrain a smile 

"Hmm, I think it forgives you, Lo" 

The thought made his shoulders relax slightly as he nodded, though his response was cut short by the vibrations coming off the creature. The both went silent and stared - Logan's hand was still, and after a few seconds the vibrating stopped and the creature was chirping at him, as though complaining. When Logan hesitantly continued, the vibrating continued. 

After a few minutes, when his brain caught up, he realised that it was _purring_

As though the creature couldn't get any more endearing, here it was purring as he scratched under it's chin. 

If the creature kept getting cuter, Logan wasn't sure how much longer he was going to be able to cope 


	5. Play!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil gets to play a bit!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, this feels a little rushed, but I hope you enjoy it. Another late upload, I'll sheepishly fix the spelling/grammar mistakes in the morning, I just physically can't hold onto something I've finished 🥺

By the time midday rolled around, Logan had somewhat recovered from the surprise of the critter's cute habits, though that's not to say he stopped giving it scratches every so often just to watch its reactions. He was excited to move onto their plans to try and engage the little one, and thankfully he'd remembered the toys he'd packed - though probably only as he'd put them in his car last night. 

The box contained some of Roman's old toys, sanitised, obviously, and carefully checked to make sure it couldn't pull anything off that it could then try to eat. He'd also packed a few basic enrichments - a ball, some toilet roll tubes, paper straws. 

They'd allowed the creature free roam of the table, trusting its docility - and the security of the locked door and windows. It seemed to appreciate just standing near either scientist as they worked, occasionally coming closer to sit next to them. Remy was skimming lab results as Logan set up some coloured blocks, 

"He's a baby" 

Logan glanced up, quirking a brow. He wholeheartedly expected Remy to be discussing one of his many crushes posting something on social media, but the students attention was still on the files before him. 

"What do you mean? Who's a baby?" 

Remy pointed his pen at the creature, who chittered and began inspecting the clicking mechanism. Logan blinked slowly, watching the creature. 

"The blood and DNA tests. It's a male and the protein count indicates it's still an infant." 

Logan still couldn't articulate a response, staring at the creature blankly as it played with Remy's pen, batting at it and chittering as Remy slowly moved it back and forth. It certainly made sense, how easily he was able to warm up to the two dedicated to its care, its habit of mimicking simple gestures, and how it took most every opportunity to try and engage them in play. Yet a part of him couldn't help but fret - were they going to be able to provide everything it needs? They had no idea what its parents would've taught it behaviour wise, undoubtedly its young life was going to be impacted severely by captivity. Where were the parents? Given they're apparent level of intelligence, were they _mourning? Searching? -_

"Wait does that mean this creature is gonna get bigger??" 

Logan glanced at Remy and smiled sheepishly. It certainly seemed so. Remy gave an exasperated sigh and flopped back in his seat. The creature watched him, before trying to mimic, throwing himself back and trilling in delight. Cute. 

" Well, no matter how big it gets, it'll be our responsibility to accommodate. But for now, we have work to be doing" 

With that, Logan pulled out a rattle - gave it a shake to demonstrate what it was, and then placed it in front of the creature. 

It immediately scuttled towards it, smacking at the top of the rattle with much more force than expected. As the rattle rolled in a circle, the beads inside made a noise similar to rainpour, which is what the creature seemed to have been going for as it chittered excitably the then crouched, staring at the now still rattle. After a few moments, it vocalised a damn near perfect imitation of the rattle sound, before looking up at Logan and wiggling slightly. He felt the urge to reward the little creature, smiling and giving it a scratch. 

"Well, it definitely enjoys mimicking things." 

Remy smirked at that, flicking the rattle to make a noise, which the creature instantly copied. 

"I could've told you that, girl" 

Logan smiled softly, scribbling down notes "We'll have to test the capacity of its mimicking abilities at a later date, for now let's see how it responds to….. These" 

He gently placed down three blocks, the primary colours, onto the table. The creature meandered over, tilting its whole body sideways in curiosity before tapping at the yellow block. It used all its limbs to scale onto the block, legs tucked in awkwardly as it squeaked and dithered its carapace to rattle. A few moments of observation told them it wasn't planning to do anything beyond standing on the block looking pleased with itself. 

"Well the creature seems to enjoy… Climbing, I suppose. We aren't really finding anything new out."

Remy hummed absently, training his phone camera on the creature. Logan trusted him enough to not share any images or videos, but the student often thought he didn't notice him snapping pictures of the creature being utterly endearing. 

The creature was so far staring at Logan, but decided to follow his eye line and noticed Remy, stumbling slightly off the block as it made its way over. It was rather interested in Remy's phone, brushing a pedipalp over the back case while chirping. It then moved around to the other side, Remy seemingly too stunned to move it, to inspect the digital screen. Logan had an idea, 

"Remy, could you download an application for infants to engage with? Perhaps it will interact with that" 

Remy rolled his eyes but was already pulling up the game store, mumbling "Sure, yeah, just use all my data like it's nothing. Us uni students are notorious for having _buckets_ of cash" 

Remy flipped his screen round to show the creature, displaying an application. He tapped it to demonstrate - a fairly simple app, tap the colour and a soothing feminine voice said that colour aloud - before allowing the creature to approach. The creature reached up with a pedipalp, tapping gently on green. 

" **Green. Yellow. Purple. Green. Yellow. Purple. Green. Yellow. Purple. Green** -" 

The creature continued its very deliberate pattern, never one straying from the three colours. It wasn't even like the colours where near each other - it was clearly indicating these colours in particular, and Logan had no idea why. 

" What does that mean, little one? Are you - no, you can't actually be communicating… no, no. Try the Alphabet, if you would please, Remy?" 

Remy hummed, switching from colours to letters "Just letting you know if it spells out REDRUM I'm tossing it towards you to buy me some time to escape" 

Logan rolled his eyes and simply observed. Yet again the creature strolled up without a care, and seemed to know which buttons to press. 

**"V. R. J. V. V. V R J. V R J."**

Once more the creature had chosen three components, the letter V, the letter R, and the letter J. But why? 

It could, of course, be entirely coincidental. It simply liked the colours, or the shape of the letter so it pressed them - and perhaps he was digging for proof of intelligence due to his own fondness for the creature, but he couldn't help but feel there was intent behind what it was doing. 

"The lil baby creature is pretty weird, huh?" 

Remy had his gaze soley focused on Logan, holding his phone still in one hand as the creature inputted the same three letters over and over. 

"Yes, well, I'm not entirely sure what -" Logan was cut off by loud vibrating, this time not caused by the creature, and Remy's phone blasting out his ring tone. 

The creature was startled enough so when the screen changed to the caller's ID image - a zoomed in, grinning Professor Picani - it was no surprise it entered fight mode. Before Remy could even think to move the phone, the creature was hissing furiously, spitting its corrosive black spit across the screen, instantly causing the screen to glitch out. To make matters worse, it let up the sharp barbs across its legs, squalling like an animal in heat before swiping furiously, rising to its back legs to use more limbs in the fight. 

Remy pulled the phone back, frowning with a look of genuine disappointment. The phone was quite evidently beyond repair, and even as he pulled it out the way, the creature was throwing out all kinds of aggression signs. 

"Remy, I'm truly sorry -" 

Remy cut him off with a long sigh, "It's whatever, girl. I'll go see what Emile wanted on a different phone. They're out on the field right now, they wouldn't call me if it wasn't important." 

He tucked his destroyed phone into his jacket pocket before standing. The creature scurried away as Remy rose, stopping dead in front of Logan with a long croak. Logan very carefully began petting it, managing to smooth it's barbs down gently as it began chirping and crooning, moving into Logan's arms with a chitter. When Logan allowed it to crawl into the crook of his arm, the creature began purring, pulling its limbs into itself while leaning up to nuzzle the fingers petting it. Though Logan was rather concerned that his apprentice was more hurt than he was letting on, he couldn't move the creature was surely close to sleep now. 

After around twenty minuets, it was definitely asleep, chittering its carapace soothingly. Logan found himself cradling it slightly, unabashedly endeared. 

When Remy came through the door, he looked rather shocked, holding a cordless landline phone he'd assumably called Emile on. 

"The… Research team was trying to find another," he pointed vaguely at the bundle in Logan's arms, clearly deciding a comment wouldn't be worth his time

"but they found another… Thing. And they're bringing it here."


	6. Toddlers and Tentacles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus is here and he isn't making life easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi hi!  
> Not super happy with this, but I hope you can get something out of this. I hope it's just my depression talking and the writing is actually decent ^^;
> 
> Tw for needle/blood mention!

"Okay, what the _fuck_ is that" 

The student was staring blankly at the new creature as it was dropped into a large tank of sea water. A strange mass of tentacles wriggling and writhing around so much that one couldn't determine the actual form. The instant it was fully submerged in the water, it began lapping the enclosure at a rapid speed. Logan made a mental note to test its speed later, but was more intrigued when neon green bubbles erupted from the creature and bubbled up to the surface - the scent was unpleasant at best, and he spent no time rushing to the supply closet to get ventilators as a precaution. 

"Remy, you'll need to wear this until we confirm the gas it is excreting isn't toxic. Dr Picani and Dr Stokes - thank you for performing the transfer, but I ask you leave to avoid being exposed further" 

The two nodded, bolting the top of the enclosure shut before making their exits, leaving behind the case file at Remy muttered a 'later, babes' 

With the two remaining scientists adequately ventilated, they approached the new creature for initial observations - it was certainly lively, never quite staying still. Perhaps it needed to keep moving, or it felt threatened by its capture. His musings were interrupted by a gentle elbow to his arm, Remy pouting up at him and jabbing his thumb towards the other little creature, in its enclosure across the room, cloth draped over it so it wouldn't be startled by all the commotion. 

"Isn't spider-baby gonna get gas attacked too?" 

Logan's eyes widened as he hurried over, scanning the clipboard next to the enclosure about its machinations. A sigh of relief, 

"The enclosure runs on its own oxygen supply, though when taking the creatures out, a grace period of around thirty minutes to allow adequate ventilation. Whatever gas this creature is producing, it will end up in the filtration system. I'll send someone to go and analyse it. "

Remy nodded absently, watching the octopus-like creature still speeding around. 

" You're not going to adopt this one as well, are you? "

Well, Logan couldn't confidently answer that. 

* * *

After nearly forty minutes to allow the creature to settle (it didn't) and setting up the station for observation, it was time to get it out. The scientist that captured it had assured Logan that the creature was fine out of water but they kept a pail of water out, just in case. 

"Alright, open the hatch, please. And be on guard, this one is likely to be more active than the other" 

Net at the ready, Logan waiting for Remy to unbolt then lift the hatch, dunking the net in. It took less than a minute for the creature's rapid movements to get tangled up, the scientist quick to lift it out, manhandling it out of the net and into the transportation box - Remy quick to secure the lid. 

"Perfect work. Let's get it down, be careful on the steps." 

The two lifted the carrier by the handle, careful as they took the steps down the side of the tank. The creature was still flailing around, and up close he could see eyes peeking from between the tentacles. A familiar fondness bubbled within him as he watched, gently depositing the creature on the desk. 

"There's no way we can get that out, it's too wriggly" 

Logan hummed in thought, watching it writhe. It wouldn't be preferable, but he was sure they'd manage. 

"We'll keep it in the box to weigh, then we'll use the velcro restraints, keeping the tentacles in groups of three. It'll prevent such extreme wriggling and make it easier to count" 

It was agreed, and getting the box full of squirming aquatic life was no easy feat but eventually they got the measurements - a hefty 14.6kg. Clearly the main mass is the muscle of the tentacles, that were already slamming on the lid to get out. 

Next step was to restrain the creature, they were going to perform the physical test, before Logan got - quoted from Remy - "Too attached to the fucking thing to not _cry_ " 

Logan accepted the sentiment, no matter how much it stung his pride. The two opened the lid, thick gloves on as they rushed in to pin it - grabbing at the tentacles and collecting them in groups of three to bind them together. It was no means easy, and Logan found himself joining Remy in the litany of cursing.

"We got eight bundles and two left over, so it has a total of twenty six tentacles" 

As Logan taped up the last two, Remy scribbled on the clipboard, muttering

"Excellent deduction, Professor. _Loving_ the research." 

Logan sighed at the comment, stepping back from the restrained creature, though as he did the many eyes peeking through continued to stare at him for a long moment before the silence was broken by a popping sound. Another tentacle had sprouted out, then another, and another, and another - 

"Alright, this filter isn't working, I'm clearly high as balls right now" 

The student looked rather disgusted at the thing as it began writhing all over again. Logan, on the other hand, was wholly fascinated. It seemed the creature was capable of some degree of shape-shifting or mass redistribution. Incredible. 

"Let's get the blood and tissue samples. Thankfully no one is expecting us to measure this thing, they got an approximation of thirty-eight inches, and if you make an inappropriate joke about that I will ask you to leave -" 

Logan collected the tools necessary to take samples while Remy spluttered vaguely offended noises. Logan would be extracting the tissue and blood, while Remy would yet again be restraining the creature. He handed over the simple restraint - a pole with a hook on the end, similar to ones used to restrain snakes, and would serve a similar purpose to hold down the tentacle. The student sighed, leaning into the container to apply suitable force in keeping the body restrained. 

Only, Remy got close enough, the creature let out a sound that was almost like a giggle before there was a burst of bright colour. A fine green mist coated the air, staining the room in pigment in a vivid Kelly-Green mist. It took Logan a few moments to realise it was a smoke bomb. The creature had essentially tagged them. 

"What the hell! I just got nickelodeon slim-ed. Now I know how Demi Lovato felt." 

"I don't believe this is _slime_ , Remy" the professor quipped, rather dryly, to which the student simply scoffed. 

It was a good thing their ventilators were full faced, protecting their face and exposed skin from that burst, though the explosion kicked up a fine powder that was still settling in the air. It seemed in their moment of stunned stillness, the creature made another break for escape, quiet and other worldly noises being emitted. 

Logan sighed softly and made quick work of wrestling the creature, who didn't seem particularly offended. 

"Prepare the slide and vial, Remy. It's a little unorthodox but I'm getting the samples like this" 

Clearly thrilled at not having to pin the Cephalopoda, Remy hurried around the table, leaving a light dusting of green in his wake. Luckily the vials had a lid on, else they'd be contaminated. Logan selected the 16-gauge needle - to be able to collect even fairly viscous blood. Remy was quick to attach it with an attached vacutainer blood collection tube, that would gather 0.23 fluid ounces. Logan made a mental note to praise Remy's assembly skills in the report he files to the student's University every quarter year. 

With that taken care of, Logan applied a firm pressure to the base of his selected tentacle, restricting movement as he lined up the needle. With no knowledge of the creature's vein system, he just pierced what seemed to be a continuous muscle - from the way it flexed during movement - and was forced to hold the line in while blood was drawn. Usually tape would be used, but the muculent skin and constant flailing made that rather unachievable. 

Blood should have started being drawn by now, but still far not a drop had trickled out into the tube. Remy was watching Logan, probably thinking he'd done something wrong in the assembly of the line - but no, it was perfect. Perhaps the creature didn't have a circulatory system? But surely if it was following the genetics of, say, flatworms, nematodes, or cnidarians, it would need to be constantly on the ocean floor to collect nutrients and oxygen directly. Yet another peculiarity, a part of him wanted to be excited about all of the traits this creature was exhibiting and what research could be done. 

But mostly he was strangely and deeply concerned about this creature becoming a lab rat or dissection study. 

With a sigh, Logan withdrew the needle, only to pause. The needle wasn't there, only a nib of metal that looked as though it had been corroded off. He shared a glance with Remy, who swallowed thickly. 

"Shit, it just ate your needles, babes. Hopefully it won't die or whatever, but does that mean it's blood is corrosive?" 

That did seem to be the correct assumption, though it unfortunately made his life a whole lot more difficult. 

"It seems a tissue sample will likely yield similar results, so I will have to write up why physical data is not being presented but it seems the creature is best to be put back onto its enclosure. I've sent Picani out on the boats, they're collecting various surplus sea life creatures as possible food sources for the creature, we'll test that later. "

Remy nodded with the sigh of a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders. The two wordlessly picked the box up after sealing the lid, more than ready to get the cretin back in its tank. 

* * *

After that ordeal, and sending the needle and pigments off for analysis, the two scientists shared a quiet lunch in the cafeteria before returning to tend to the tamer of the two creatures. Despite its arachnid appearance, the creature had traits much more in line with the Manidae family. It took a lot more than logic and facts to stop Remy from assigning a nickname, though. 

" Yoohoo, spider baby, its spring cleaning babes!" 

The student hoisted up the sheet they'd placed over the creature to prevent it from seeing out, in case seeing the new creature causes distress, surprisingly enthused. Though that extra energy may be attributed to Logan donating an extra three dollars for Remy to 'supersize' his meal with cheese bites and fries. 

The creature wasn't asleep like it usually was when left in the dark. It seemed rather preoccupied in its small burrow, not even coming to greet the scientist. Hmm. 

Logan unlocked the enclosure, comfortable enough to know the creature wasn't going to attack or try and escape. 

"Hello, little creature. I hope you're well. I just need to take some of your webbing. It's gorgeous, but you see, I can't view you through the glass because it's so thick." 

As he was talking, and adorably the creature was focusing on him fully, Logan was gently using a wooden hooked tool to gently pull down the truly impressive mass of webbing. The actual webbing was incredible, not only was the colour gorgeous - a rich and dark grey that shone purple in the right light - but from the tests conducted by Doctor Stokes, it's textile strength beat that of the Darwin Bark Spider. A record breaker, once the go ahead was given to release the knowledge of this animal to the public. A day that Logan… was not looking forward to. 

Still, the creature was under 24 hour surveillance and he'd received complaints that it had completely obscured its own enclosure. 

As Logan chatted away, hopeful to keep the creature docile and not noticing its den being dismantled, the creature had wandered off into the burrow. It took a while to see what the creature was doing in there, but it was slowly consuming the black substance it had left all over the cheese. Logan whispered for Remy to take notes, not wanting to move away and startle it into stopping. 

Not once did the creature try to eat the actual cheese, and once all the secretion was removed, Logan had to flinch in disgust. The cheese was molded away as though left for years - black and blue mold swarmed the block, and any yellow showing through the decay was almost _grey_. 

_Okay, that was disgusting._

Grabbing the nearby bin, Logan reached in, intent on taking the block off the creature. After all, it wasn't interested in eating it - perhaps the black substance changed while on the cheese and was enjoyable to eat - and it wouldn't be sanitary to keep decaying lactose with the creature. Surely. 

"I apologise, little creature, but I need to remove this. It's dirty" he tried to say this with conviction but the creature already looked upset, making warbles and whines reminiscent of the dreaded physical.

Any attempt to grab was met with fury, the creature lunging and biting at Logan's gloves. He didn't like seeing it so upset, so instead Logan scooped the creature up. Sure, he could've swiped the block right now, but Logan was okay with claiming that he just wanted to see what the creature would do with it (and not that he 100% was guilt tripped) 

"Shh, shh little creature. I won't steal your cheese, if you really want it." 

"Love your authority, doctor. Such a leader" 

Logan skillfully ignored that comment. 

Quite stupidly, Logan pulled the creature close for an on-the-shoulder hug as though the creature was his baby, scritching away at the carapace and mumbling. Mostly to himself. 

This continued for a few moments, the creature coming close to his neck. It totally could've bitten and possibly killed Logan, and he'd have totally deserved it for being stupid. But no, it simply purred away, nuzzling as though familiar with this form of contact. Fascinating, and adorable - a rather extensive summary of Logan's thoughts on the creature, in all honesty. 

"The executive board would be foaming at the mouth right now" 

Logan glanced at Remy, blushing sheepishly. He was certainly breaking so many codes of conduct. 

"I'm surprised they haven't sent someone down to slap me up the head, they're normally quick to act on what's going on in the cameras." 

He just hopes he wouldn't get fired for the impromptu snuggle session with the one-of-a-kind species that's also _confirmed as poisonous_. 

Not the worst way to go, he supposed. 

Though Remy simply smirked, jabbing a thumb in the general direction of the camera. 

"Don't worry, soft arse. They aren't seeing anything." 

Logan followed the motioning, and gleeful smile on his face as he realised that none of that had been observed. 

The camera was still covered in _green_ , after all. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Hope you enjoyed this random lil story that's been simmering in my brain. I know I'm too busy to be starting a new story, but I just had to 😅  
> This is gonna be light hearted. No angst, Logan is treating his creatures (and future step-kids whoops-) with the utmost care.


End file.
